| This intervention unites two humans, who could not be more
unequal also beyond all contrasts between physician and patient, omnipotence
illusion and faint feeling: Here the world-turned hero at the skalpell,
strotzend before vitality, to which zupackt and out of itself out-goes,
which loves art and good kitchen and likewise estimates crude jokes like
beautiful women. There the verschuechterte in itself turned and in an almost
uncanny way sexless working Schmaechtling, which the life with its temptations
passed so far apparently without trace. While the one in the vorraum to
the operating room with a root brush the fingers rosy schrubbt itself, the
other one opposes the over-powerful sleep obligation next door with eyes
broken far for one while being silent by the Narkose on the desk. " I wanted
to out-cost the moment up to the last second ", report he later, " thought
again and again I: I am at the target. I am at the target." And because
it understands itself the reawaking as wiedergeburt in a new body, it becomes,
as many different before it, this day from now on than its true birthday
to celebrate. The way from A to O, of Thea to Theo, leads the girl with
male consciousness first by long silence. With nobody it dares to talk.
" I thought, if I tell that then none more which with me to do to have wants."
For the nut/mother the only child is also " only life contents ". Once she
explains to the daughter, her " by hundred percent in each case a girl required
herself ". She would have relieved at that time a boy, would have left her
him " in the hospital ". At the latest this expression blocks the last access
to an open discussion. The two live at the edge of a north German provincial
town in one of those terraced house settlements from the sixties, where
only thin walls place themselves to the envy and the curiosity of the neighbours
into the way. Where each heterogeneity one, each outbreak from the standard
is punished with the exclusion from the community. When Theo leaves itself
finally to the Narkoseschlaf, the clock at the page frame wall ten shows
before eight. Schlappend keucht now the artificially respirating apparatus.
The operation team begins with the work. The Anaesthesist lets the small
Stereogeraet behind its curtain in absorbed tone Eric Claptons " Unplugged
" play, while before the cloth the masked ones make themselves with cutlery
steel to the metamorphosis of the " bio woman " the sterile Neutrum in male
covering. Theo is now excluded from the theatre around its body, yellow
disinfected rests its trunk in the blue cloth. It misses Wagner wagner-Ouvertueren,
Beach Boys and Vivaldi, the short Hektik around a violent bleeding, the
Aufbrausen of the physician and excited whispering of the sisters. Dream
lot through-dawns it the end of its ten-year nightmare: " there was which
in me in it, which bad, which did not rauskonnte and which did not rauswollte
perhaps." The growing up plans, as soon as them are 18 to emigrate " to
South Germany where none knows me and where I wanted to then pull the whole
thing through ". Up to then it wants to retain their secret for itself.
After she discovered the contradiction between soul and body, she begins
to invent names for itself and to create in her fantasy a sound Gegenwelt.
" I had structured myself that quite well, had a family, a woman and children.
There also Sex occurred. And the reality existed ever fewer." It loses increasingly
the relationship with its body, does not look at themselves, bathes with
closed eyes. The only mirror in the bath hangs so highly that it can see
if necessary their face. Sometimes it masturbiert even, without actually
putting hand, in the conception as a daydreamed man. In the real life however
sexualitaet does not occur, as if the sexual would be the increase of the
bad one. " I did not live with my body. I would say times, I had lived against
him. And if I had to then touch myself nevertheless times - thus that is
a feeling, as if one burns internally." Paul Jean Daverio and its team have
to complete an extensive program: Multi-level interventions with as much
as possible steps are considered as speciality of the Lausanner hospital.
After exactly one hour the chest glands are distant. " meat ", says the
surgeon. From the glitschigen grasp of the second operating surgeon just
a bloody handful raw slid into the plastic bag, which to it the instrument
sister delayed also through-stretched levers. After the assistant solve
before, Daverios black markings in each case carefully following, from the
bosom a circular piece from skin and fabric, the nipples seem to swim now
on the opened Bloesse Scarcely 50 minutes later first, a further half hour
after also the second nipple with the free edge again sewn, is the frauliche
gewoelbe to a flat plant reduced. Daverio took in the meantime its workstation
between the spread legs of the unconscious one, for it a hose into the blister
put forward and from the small schamlippe a piece of the new urethra sewed.
The instrument sister itches the forehead. Since it must keep their latexverhuellten
hands sterile, it rubs like cattle against the branch its heading against
the tied up foot of the patient. Although Theo does not even have a third
of the " thing " behind itself, one of its large problems is already eliminated:
Since it concerns to it particularly its visible appearance, the exterior
loaded it always more as all inside, the bosom more than " things in the
antinode bulge ". " mark when drying, one comes in such a way nevertheless
times with itself into contact, there I there something noticed and was
fixed convinced of the fact that it must be cancer of the breast. And then
I made happy and thought, now go myself you to the physician, and says to
you: wrong does to us, but we must unfortunately away-make that all.' And
if I come back then from the hospital, then that is everything away, and
the kacke is past." Such mutilating fantasies reflect the overwhelming longing
of Transsexuellen to be in the body of the other sex. In nature is the division
in two parts between womanlike and male, of the most rare cases of the hermaphrodites
apart, unique. Only the human culture aufgeweicht in the course of its development
the sharp separation - an ambiguity developed, for which there is a pair
of words in English: " sex " for constant biological and " towards that
" for the variable cultural sex. Androgyne, Transvestiten and Transsexuelle
become a type " third sex " between man and woman. While Androgyne are by
smearing the boundaries in the intermediate realm of the Uneindeutigen and
Transvestiten, breaking through the dress order, fall apart when wanderer
of Gender change the sex on the other hand, with Transsexuellen Sex and
Gender. They are on a physical change out: Not only temporarily the clothes,
but the body under it are to be adapted irrevocablly to the differently-sexual
one I. If the adjustment is only carried out, they feel themselves no more
third, but only their new sex appropriately. Paul Jean Daverio believes,
humans are " doubly created ": anatomically unique man or woman, with the
mental conception of the shape however only more one or more the other one.
After its opinion biology and consciousness of the sex can apart-go in exceptional
cases, since Physis and psyche develop independently. The rule of the soul
over the body however holds Daverio for so overwhelming that the anatomy
of the anomaly is to be adapted and not turned around. The clock shows half
eleven, when it proclaims: " Regarde, regarde, pours beauté " - looks, which
beauty. It free-prepared two nerves within the shame area, which it wants
to connect later with the Neo Penis. Thus its work is for the time being
terminated in the intersection of the thighs. Now the creative part, the
Penisaufbau from a part of the lower arm begins. The surgery is for Daverio
more art handicraft. The previous evening it visited Theo in its hotel-suited
single room under the roof of the converted mansion. For a long time it
looked at itself the tender body of its patient and did not gefachscherzt
with it over " tail sizes " ("elephant trunks to have we in stock, which
we would have to order "). Finally it sketched the outlines of the skin
rag, from which the Neo Penis is to develop in manners of a Skulpteurs on
Theos left lower arm, and which it opens now millimeters around millimeters
with calm hand. While it prepares the fabric blood vessels and nerve strands
inclusively at the lever, two surgeons make themselves " to clear " the
antinode bulge of the dawning behind his back. After one hour are situated
ovaries, gebaermutter and Vagina in the supplied plastic bowl. So similarly
Theo always painted itself that: " I had to it a little so a masochistische
adjustment. I have myself to present tried, I am situated there and those
cut me into my unique pieces, and that was a mad feeling." With his total
operations Paul Jean Daverio belongs to the most consistent operators of
a " Medikalisierung of the sex change ", which described Stefan Hirschauer
in its book " the social construction of the Transsexualitaet ". The Bielefelder
sociologist believes, " that the Transsexualitaet particularly by the medicine
is brought out ". Since the term Transsexualismus at the beginning of the
fifties came into the medical field of vision, specialists argue about whether
it concerns itself thereby around psychological suffering from the body
or a changed body status with psychological consequences. Recently Netherlands
researchers, the size of a tiny nerve node in the brain reported the sex
identity is connected. However also they do not know to surely say whether
its scope the desire for sex transformation caused or whether it is their
consequence. " crazy person at the Transsexualismus is that the Transsexuellen
is not moved, is called " it in the book " sex change ": " your mental writingness
is not, mistake ' of nature, but in, work of art ' of humans." Paul Jean
Daverio free-prepared exactly 20 minutes after noon of Theos lever the skin
rag, out of which he wants to form the Neo Penis. Two nerve ends are marked
by white, a Arterie by a red and a Vene by a blue small band. The rag is
supplied further with blood. Around twenty after one it sewed a part of
the skin rag from the lower arm, with the Aussenhautseite inward, around
a silicone hose. Thus develops a fine skin tube, which becomes in a few
days, if the hose is again distant, the new urethra. Around this tube it,
bloody page drappiert on bloody page, the remainder of the free-prepared
skin. It laminates the two skin surfaces sand yield-like one on the other,
so that they can grow together together. The easily behaarte lever skin
becomes the outer skin of the Ersatzphallus. After Daverio washed and into
damp federations packed the thing carefully, he goennt himself with its
colleagues a break. While the physicians in the garden of the mansion with
view approve themselves over that Geneva lake the hospital-usual midday
menu, the blood circulation in the role is to stabilize. Their patient hangs
meanwhile to drips, gets already his third unit of stored blood. Theo turns
briefly before its 21. Birthday to a Telefonseelsorge and experiences there
from a weekly Transsexuellen table reserved for regulars in the close large
city. The date of its first attendance when meeting the " Transen " it notes
like other people its wedding day: " on this 28 October my fantasy world
was so well final. There I knew, now can I begin to live in the reality."
For the first time white he under Gleichgesinnten, hears himself stories
of medical odysseys, sees Phalloplastiken in photos and in natura ("one
goes to stop there briefly together on the Herrenklo "), compares the results
and hears the name of an operating surgeon in Switzerland, " that the most
beautiful tails builds ". If Paul Jean Daverio accesses to meter and thread,
its attention applies the even measure of the forms. He draws exact structural
drawings, makes themselves patterns, sketches the Phallus suitably the Statur
of its future owner. " a Penis must fit in also the shape of the body ",
says it, " it may not as found and hung up work." Around ten before three
the surgeon begins with the fine work on Theos new part of the body. The
operating microscope is structured. With solemn gesture Daverio goes to
it, the Rollappen from the protecting cloth to windings to separate and
on the shame in position bring it with the skalpell from the lever. The
music from the Radiorekorder of the Anaesthesisten grew silent. With nervous
views pursues the instrument sister each movement of the surgeon, who sews
the blood vessels from Theas abdomen with Theos new Penis with the precision
of a clockwork. Only on the monitor of the microscope easy trembling of
its hands is to be detected. Occasionally the concentrated voltage in a
curse unloads itself. " Merde ", he calls and explains to the nervously
looking Narkosearzt: " scheisse to cry helps." Not fewer importantly than
the form Daverio takes the function of its Konstrukte. After the blood vessels
it connects the free-prepared nerve ends from the Vulva with those in the
role from the lever at the latest after a half year should the Phalloplastik
be fully sensitive. The Neo Penis will feel for Theo like a its own part
of the body, which it will feel by gradual " reprogramming " of the body
picture in its brain in the suitable place. Even in the urethra he is to
develop feelings, to assume the river of the warm urine. Within six months
Theo could owing to Daverios assistance also somewhat experience, what he
could do so far only in his fantasy world: sexual excitation. The surgeon
sewed the free-prepared Klitoris to the " Penisbasis " - under the testicle
back-up hides, which developed from the remainders of the schamlippen. "That
is a fantastic attraction means, which he must only activate ", explains
the physician. All those patients, whose development it pursues over years,
are " fully orgasmusfaehig " and would have " a quite normal Sexualleben
". Of it no speech could be before the operations: Without exception all
" bio women ", who Daverio help to member and new identity, were still virgins,
when he made her man-same women without abdomen. The improved results with
woman to Anna fits one of the causes for the fact might be that the so-called
Sex Ratio continues to shift ever: Came in the sixties on a bio woman, who
let herself be made the man, still eight reverse cases, the relation is
today with one to two, with tendency direction resembling and. According
to estimations only about 1 understands itself about 45,000 humans as transsexuell.
In Germany there is therefore even 1800, after more generous calculations
of 5000 cases. Nevertheless the phenomenon exercises a large fascination.
As continuous guests in Talkshows Transsexuelle wake the fantasy of the
public like once human Monstrositaeten on medieval fairs. " monster " calls
the Sexualwissenschaftler Reimut realms still 1984 operated Transsexuelle,
" production from human hand, in a cabinet of Dr. Mabuse, Dr. Moreau become
the reality and the student Franconia stone." When Paul Jean Daverio sees
the first Phallus under his hands developing in that time, also it feels
still another track of scruples: " we go already rather far ", remember
it its thoughts. " may one do that? Don't we bungle God in the handicraft?"
But practice absent-minded its doubts: Under meters come only hormoneal
pre-treated patients, whom the intervention defamed only from the remnants
of their long sex to release is. The surgeon completes, which already prepared
chemistry: From its view it creates an obvious contradiction from the world
by its Frankensteiniaden only. The bio women are long men with beard stature
and dark voice, who are so unnecessary bosoms and gebaermutter, as the Gemaecht
is missing to them as Insignie of the man unity. The fact that it must be
able to be given for sex adjustment hormone syringe that it needs every
three weeks an injection and its whole life will be long dependent on medical
assistance experiences Theo only with the " Transen" table reserved for
regulars. The certificate of an advisory board provides access to a physician,
who begins with the hormone handling for it. "I knew simply that these hormones
mean through bodies there now fly, and that was mad, that was a release,
that was everything. I have today still the photocopy of the prescription."
Inadvertently the physician help it also to the private Coming out, when
he calls with him at home and the nut/mother goes to the telephone. Didn't
she always suspect somewhat? Now it places the daughter, who should not
be a son, to the speech - and hears history from A to Z: " I that to make
", terminates the Thea long of age their report, " no matter, which you
think now from me." But the nut/mother feels released, because her largest
fear did not prove to be true: That the daughter is lesbian. It is supported
it to be, the Theo crucially with a function, which is much more delicate
than all medical measures: With the patience of a Missionarin it clears
up for neighbours and used, recruits understanding for the decision of its
child - and has success. Theo is accepted, Thea is forgotten, as if nature
corrected a mistake after 20 years. A half year after its first table reserved
for regulars attendance meets Theo at a trade conference for Transsexualitaet
for the first time Paul Jean Daverio. " it passed me, and there I knew simply:
That is it." With such meetings some users carry even for t-Shirts with
counter-protect the surgeon. There he is the star, when who he would see
himself dearest also outside of his strange fan municipality: " I would
already gladly be a quite large one ", say he. Theo drives three months
after the congress in the auto with a table reserved for regulars colleague
to preliminary talks to Lausanne. " I did not have the feeling that he sees
me as a woman. I knew simply, white also, there am which, that must away
that that does not please him also. I was quite sure me that he at me which
would bring." It receives a cost estimate, submits its desiring at home
with the health insurance company, can by two psychologists be examined.
The one judges its case easily positively, the other one ("Transsexuelle
" hates) guesses/advises it first to try it with a lesbian relationship
until also it finally agrees at least the change of name. Toward end this
fate yearly receives " Mrs. Theo K." of the insurance the written notification
that it is allowed to their request and he may to be able to be operated
in Switzerland. Other checkouts reject the handling approximately abroad.
They require the fact that the intervention in Germany is made - even if
it requires in addition some operations instead of as in Lausanne only one
and is together at the end even more expensive than the ten-hour giant meeting
in the Clinique la Rosiaz to Geneva lake. There Theos health insurance company
of 69,000 Swiss Franconias for the first operation will transfer inclusive
stay as well as all pre and subsequent treatments. If Theo decides for a
second intervention, with which Daverio will implant reinforcement materials
when desired to him to the mechanical Erektion and acorn and artificial
testicles from silicone, is due further 20,000 to 25,000 Franconias. The
clock at the page frame wall points briefly to half six, when the surgeon
cleans and shaves " his " Penis affectionately. " war's ", the creator says
obviously exhausted. Exactly ten hours after the first cut it sews the sheath
in the sharp light of the OI emitters always too. It switches an ultrasonoscope
on for hearing the pulse impacts and presses the sound head firmly in white-sausage-bleaches
pendants. First nothing is to be heard as homogeneous dull/musty Kraechzen
from the loudspeaker. Suddenly Daverio calls: " there, you, tum tum, hear
tum tum, tum tum." As from infinite distance even pounding is to be heard
from the Kraechzen: Pumping the blood in the new Penis. Its creature lives.
Still for days, while the Penisrolle increases, Theo in its sick-room to
remain connected with the pulse detector, which strikes it the clock for
the new life. " pounds and pounds. And then it comes and says: That is quite
mad. And as it unpacked that for the first time, which was, as if that always
dagewesen would be." Theos nut/mother is from the alcohol again away. The
wall around the bath tub disguised its returned home son with mirror page
frames. On the stairs to its roof room hangs saeuberlich framed a black-and-white
photo, which shows the surgeon: decided, schalkhaft, mysteriously. " I know
quite exactly that I will be never something large in its life. But there
were moments, in which he was there practically only for me, and which is
enough to me." Juergen nephew, 43, is an SPIEGEL editor in Berlin. Ben Behnke,
47, operates as a photographer in Hamburg. |
1 year later
© BEN BEHNKE 